With hospital visits and other fun, exciting excursions, I had much too little time or energy to do the reviews. I've just been sitting back and watching the episodes each week and I've been inundated by guilt for not finishing what I started.
This morning I woke up at 6 am and got onto my HBO Now account to watch the 9th episode. After 45 mins anxious minutes of "Error 4000: HBO Now has run into an error", they finally got the episode running. And thus I watched the best, most satisfying one hour on television, ever.
A new, sharp wave of guilt hit me. Therefore, after reviewing the initial episodes, and then leaving a lethargic lacuna in my reviews, I'm going to restart at today's 9th episode and finish with the season finale.
Although the result of today's episode is all over the internet, here's a mandatory warning:
Don't worry, I won't say 'cool' again.
At this juncture, I want to take a moment to appreciate how the creators have handled the Tyrion-Dany thing. Dany could well have come back and blasted Tyrion for the state of her city; but instead, she takes his word that he really did help Meereen. Thus, Tyrion establishes an overall good rapport with Dany, just as I had optimistically predicted early on in the season. We can expect that this will carry on in the seasons to come.
Dany secretly considers a lifestyle change as she agrees to Yara's terms. She says that everyone in the room had terrible fathers who made the world worse (Happy Father's Day!), but together, they would instead make the world better. Dany stipulates that they must support her claim as Queen to the Seven Kingdoms. She adds that they must also stop raiding, raping, reaving, rhyming and refrigerating... or some other verbs beginning with R. Yara objects, saying that these R-verbs are the Ironborn's way of life, but Dany says no, just to establish who's boss. Yara reluctantly agrees. Dany gets Tyrion's nod of approval, the two ladies have a weird, awkward hand-elbow-shake and the Dragon-Kraken alliance is made.
The dominant story this week was of course the Battle of the Bastards, set in the North - in and around Winterfell. The two sides meet each other at the battle field, the evening before the war. Remember that Ramsay has his own large Bolton army, plus some Northern houses. Jon has the Wildlings plus a smaller Northern force. Ramsay greets Sansa and Jon, not like they are going to be at war the next day, but more like a jolly taxi driver greeting passengers with a signboard at the airport.
Fun fact: The move used by Ramsay is a variation of a double envelopment used by Hannibal in the battle of Cannae. Sadly, a double envelopment was just what Jon had anticipated at his war council and tried to counter. Clearly, that didn't work out too well for him. Ramsay's move is spectacular and the show depicts it with finesse. Ramsay's men use interlocking shields to protect themselves from the blows of the Stark army, while attacking through the gaps using spears. A brilliant strategy, and one of the best scenes I've ever had the privilege of watching.
Jon, Tormund, Davos, Wun Wun and the rest of the Stark side watch in confusion as they are surrounded by the Boltons on one side and the pile up of dead bodies on the other. Someone shouts, "Infantry Advance!" and the arc of Bolton men begins to close in on the Starks like some white blood cell phagocytosis (10th standard biology, guys). They poke at the Stark side, and many are killed. The good guys then begin to retaliate and they run up and try to attack the wall of shields. Tormund gets some kills and Wun Wun dances around and rips bodies apart. Everything devolves into chaos as more people are grabbed, stabbed and jabbed.
As the wall continues to close in on the Stark side, I can't get over the amazing enactment of this scene. I actually began to feel claustrophobic as I watched all of the Starks squashed together, cheek by jowl, with nowhere to go. At one point, Tormund gives up on the offensive front, and tells his Wildlings to retreat via the pile of bodies. The Wildlings wisely run away from a clearly lost situation, and in the process Jon gets knocked over, and is trampled under the stampede.
The scene is incredibly engrossing. Once again, the direction is to be commended. As Jon begins to choke and suffocate under the running bodies, I do too. Viewers hold their breath in sympathy and anticipation as they watch Jon suffer inadvertently at the hands, or rather at the feet, of his own men. Elsewhere, Tormund is also losing a fight with Lord Umber. Everything seems to be going in favour of the Boltons, but it so happens that the Starks have their own pantry full of Bollywood masala. In this desperate moment, they use up seven truckloads of this magic powder, and the tide turns like nothing else.
Jon Snow the Sailor Man eats his spinach and finds the strength to pull himself above the stagnating crowd, and heaves deep breaths. Tormund goes apeshit and chews into Umber's throat like some pulpy banana. And just outside the formation, the Arryns have arrived with a large army, ready to fight for Sansa and Jon. They're led by some hyper-enthusiastic nobody. Petyr Baelish and Sansa watch from the side, as the Starks get the help they so desperately need. Littlefinger is doing his best impersonation of Ramsay - standing far away from the battle and smiling stupidly, like, "I'm so swaaaag, right?"
By the way, I still don't get why Sansa didn't tell Jon that they had this backup force. And while I mostly have faith that the show won't let this detail slide, some small part of me expects that we won't be given a good reason at all. Hope they deliver on this in the finale.
The Arryn men demolish the Boltons, to Ramsay's... I wouldn't say distress, more like mild annoyance. Ramsay who has been eating popcorn this entire time, and is spotlessly clean, realizes he's losing this war. Jon watches Ramsay run to his castle at Winterfell, and he chases him with Tormund and Wun Wun. Ramsay thinks he's safe inside Winterfell, but Wun Wun says, "peekaboo!" and breaks down the door. Wun Wun has been a major target of the archers (though at that size, getting hit isn't their accuracy, it's sheer probability) and collapses to his knees as soon as he opens the gate. He hollers in pain as he is used as a giant pincushion. Stark archers charge through the gates and shoot down the scant Bolton archers inside the castle. As the Bolton forces are quickly overrun, Jon attempts to help Wun Wun, but Wun Wun is shot in the eye by Ramsay's arrow, and falls to the ground, dead. R.I.P. to the last living giant.
At this point, Stark arrows are all aimed at Ramsay, and Jon, covered in blood, mud and sweat, is the epitome of exhaustion.
Ramsay: "After some deep contemplation, I'd like to take you up on that offer of one-on-one combat you made yesterday."
Jon: "Oh wow, how nice of you to reconsider after all your men were killed."
Tired though he is, Jon, ever the honorable warrior, seems to have no problem granting Ramsay's wish. He grabs a shield before Ramsay can shoot, and blocks Arrow Number 1 with the shield, and then proceeds toward Ramsay. Ramsay tries again, but Arrow number 2 probably redirected itself toward the shield out of fear of touching Jon. Out of peer pressure, Arrow Number 3 sticks to the shield as well. Jon's whole aura emanates wrath and unbridled ferocity. His men watch surprised at their commander's arrow-blocking skills. Before Ramsay releases his fourth arrow, Jon has reached him and is pounding him on the ground.
For all viewers, Ramsay has undoubtedly been a nonpareil class of villain. Therefore, as I watched Jon pummel Ramsay left and right, and deliver with inhuman fury a grand total of 22 uninterrupted punches, I laughed with hysteria. I could even hear an opera singing 'Ode to Joy' in the background. But now, picture this. Jon has been on battle mode for the past few hours, with his mind completely set on killing this beast that has stolen his home, tortured his sister and killed his brother. Therefore, to have had the presence of mind to look at Sansa, realize that Ramsay is hers to finish, and actually leave him alive was, for me, an act of supreme heroism. What a man.
Things have settled down and we have another lovely shot of a Bolton banner along the castle walls being replaced with the white Stark one. Jon declares that Rickon's body is to be buried at the crypt, beside his father's. A nice, simple resolution to his death. Sansa then sternly asks Jon where Ramsay is, coz it's time for this episode to give Ramsay that sweet retribution that he so truly deserves.
In the final scene of this episode, Sansa gets a kickass role. Sansa visits Ramsay in his new studio apartment underneath Winterfell. The apartment has just one chair and that's it, and Ramsay seems very attached to the chair... literally. We take great pleasure in seeing Ramsay's bloody face and tied hands, and I got even more joy thinking how he can't even dig his nose if he wants to. He's just gotta wait and let that nose-itch manifest itself. Ramsay asks Sansa if this will be his new home, and he takes her silence to mean that he is about to die. Jolly good inference, my boy.
Ramsay: "You can't kill me. I'm part of you now." (Bring on the pregnancy theories.)
Sansa: "Your words will disappear. Your house will disappear. You name will disappear. All memory of you will disappear."
Ramsay: "Well, fuck."
Sansa watches as Ramsay's dogs begin to growl, smelling his blood. Like Drogon, they also know a good dialogue at which to appear. They circle Ramsay and sniff him. Ramsay is cocky.
Ramsay: "My hounds will never harm me."
Sansa: "You haven't fed them in seven days, you said it yourself."
Ramsay: "They're loyal beasts."
Sansa: "They were. Now they're starving."
The rest of the scene is a highly satisfying coup de grâce, with Ramsay screaming as he is munched on by his own hounds, one of his own top methods of murder. Oh, the irony. As Sansa calmly turns around and leaves, unperturbed by the sight, we come to realize that she too has grown up into an adult. Indubitably, her best scene in the show. And in the last moments of the episode, we see the slightest hint of a smile on Sansa's face, as she walks away with poise.
Post Episode:
IMDb rated the episode a full 10/10, making it the best rated TV episode of all time. I concur with this judgment. The episode was perfect. Every scene was flawless (except perhaps Rickon's super-dramatic running scene) and the war was unparalleled. People in real wars will look at this episode and be like, "that war was more realistic."
Jon Snow has won his war, he is now (presumably) Lord of Winterfell, and with this castle, the Wildlings and the Arryns, he is in a great position of power. Dany has won her war, she is now the undisputed Queen of Meereen, and with her dragons and Dothraki army and ships, she is in a great position of power. We can only expect more great feats from both of these loved characters.
The season finale is coming up on 27th June, and I have high expectations for this episode. If one thinks of each GoT season as a story in itself, episode 9 always seems to be the climax, and episode 10 the denouement, where loose ends are tied up. However, there's so much left to be said and done, that I don't see how all of it can be accomplished in a single episode (even if it is 69 minutes long). Here are all the loose ends that need to be tied up in the season finale:
Nevertheless, I can't wait for the finale. It's been an incredibly satisfying season so far, and we're lucky to be part of this journey.
Note: Hope you liked this one. It was much harder to write this, since I was describing 2 wars, rather than dialogues and events. Feedback always welcome. :)
This morning I woke up at 6 am and got onto my HBO Now account to watch the 9th episode. After 45 mins anxious minutes of "Error 4000: HBO Now has run into an error", they finally got the episode running. And thus I watched the best, most satisfying one hour on television, ever.
A new, sharp wave of guilt hit me. Therefore, after reviewing the initial episodes, and then leaving a lethargic lacuna in my reviews, I'm going to restart at today's 9th episode and finish with the season finale.
Although the result of today's episode is all over the internet, here's a mandatory warning:
*SPOILER AND SPECULATION ALERT*
*... dum dum dumdum, dum dum dumdum, dum dum dumdum, DMMM.*
Pre-episode:
Last week in Meereen, Varys went off on a secret mission. Tyrion, Missandei and Grey Worm drank wine and showed us how bad Game of Throne would be as a sitcom. And then, out of nowhere, we had slavers attacking Meereen with ships and cannons. Dany also made a cameo, with no words, but an expression that said, "I leave the city for just a couple of weeks and this happens? And WTF, are Missandei and Grey Worm drunk?"
Also remember, the dickless Greyjoys siblings were en route Meereen to treat with Dany since she can help them to get their home back. This is where we left off.
Meereen:
We start off with a humble appetizer of a war, set at the waterfront of Meereen. Though small by GoT standards, this war at Meereen is magnificently done, nonetheless. The slavers have ships, the ships have cannons, the cannons have fireballs, but the fireballs have little effect on Meereen's Great Pyramid. Dany eats these for breakfast.
Amidst the downpour of fire, the beauty and the beast have an interesting conversation about Meereen's status quo. Tyrion explains that despite appearances, Meereen is actually "on the rise". Dany seems to believe him. Her battle plan is to go about and destroy all of the cities that are now betraying her. Tyrion tells her that she's acting like her dad, Mad Aerys, who was retarded, and that she should just chill out. He suggests an alternate plan that involves his forte, negotiation.
Team Too-Much-Eyeliner and Team Dragons parley at some neutral location. The Slavers thinks they have the upper hand, but Dany and co. spend the ENTIRE sequence being really cool. The Slavers want Dany to hand up Meereen, the Unsullied, Missandei and kill her dragons. Otherwise, they'll continue slapping her pyramid with their pathetic pyro-pellets until they win. Dany is like, "LOL good one." She gives them a cool comeback, "My reign has just begun." Drogon is also cool, and recognizes this as a good moment to make an entrance. He takes his cue and shows up, to the alarm of the Slavers.
Slavers: "Holy shit. It never occurred to us that the Mother of Dragons might attack us with her dragons."
Drogon parks himself right next to Dany. After posing coolly next to her sweet ride for a few seconds, Dany climbs aboard and revs her engines. Drogon roars, soars and then aims his snout at the Slaver's oars. Even Rhaegal and Viserion, Drogon's introverted brothers, join the battle because they're no longer hungry and weak. The CGI team outdoes itself, as the dragons look spectacular and majestic in flight.
Meanwhile, on land, we are reminded of some villains that are really starting to go stale: The Sons of the Harpy. These guys are pretty jobless and have decided to murder civilians purely to remind us they're bad. Suddenly, we hear thundering hoofbeats and riding in come Dany's latest acquisition, the Dothraki. Daario leads them and coolly chops off a head like a hot knife into thermocol. With the sheer number of Dothraki, I think it's implied that the Sons of the Harpy are all killed, and the Harpy itself is now just bereaved poultry.
Back in the sky, after a little nod of courtesy to their mom and their elder brother, Viserion and Rhaegal each choose their pick for ugliest ship, and take aim. Dany coolly says 'Dracarys' and the three reptilian musketeers shoot streams of flames at the ships. With some crazy special effects, we see the ships collapsing in a matter of seconds. They go about causing some more wreckage to ensure that the slavers thoroughly shit their pants.
Team Slavery: "I know we're losing, but that was so cool."
Team Meereen: "Yeah, we're cool like that."
Tyrion, Missandei and Grey Worm look smugly at the slavers. Grey Worm gets his fair share of cool scenes today, as he smoothly convinces the opposing fighting slaves to go home to their families. The Slavers are like, "Fuck, how could this day get any worse?" Tyrion coolly shows them. He says that as punishment for their breach of pact, one of them must die. The other two slavers volunteer Yezzan zo Qaggaz saying he is a lowborn outsider. Yezzan is like, "Gee, thanks guys." Grey Worm steps forward with a knife as if to kill him, but pulls a googly on them and coolly kills the other two, with a single swipe of his blade.
Tyrion now goes up to the surviving, kneeling Slaver, who, by the way, once held him in captivity. He coolly puts his hand on his shoulder, a rare experience for Tyrion, but he does it like a pro. Tyrion tells him to spread the word of what happened here, and to basically curb all future thoughts of rebellion. He says that Dany is the embodiment of Thug Life and she's happy to roast anyone else who opposes her. The three of them then walk off coolly.
Don't worry, I won't say 'cool' again.
At this juncture, I want to take a moment to appreciate how the creators have handled the Tyrion-Dany thing. Dany could well have come back and blasted Tyrion for the state of her city; but instead, she takes his word that he really did help Meereen. Thus, Tyrion establishes an overall good rapport with Dany, just as I had optimistically predicted early on in the season. We can expect that this will carry on in the seasons to come.
They say a good writer knows what to omit. I love this episode because the writers waste no time showing Greyjoys sailing on ships. At the start of the next scene, Yara and Theon are already in conclave with Dany and Tyrion. I want to take a second to suggest rewatching this scene just to appreciate how ravishing Emilia Clarke looks here. Dany listens as Tyrion starts the scene by finding cavil with Theon.
Tyrion: "I don't like you coz made dwarf jokes about me. What's worse, I'd already heard those jokes before."
Theon: "Dude, I was tortured, flayed and lost some valuable appendages. I think I've more than paid for my sins."
Tyrion: "Okay, fair enough."
They then get to the point and talk about how Yara is offering Dany 100 ships and her support to Dany's claim on the Iron Throne. In exchange, she wants Dany to help her get her home back. Dany and Yara bond over their daddy issues, and feminism. The siblings mention that their smelly uncle, Urine Greyjoy, also intends to offer ships, but with his own dick attached to the hull. His offer is tied to an offer of marriage.
Dany: "And I imagine your offer is free of any marriage demand?"
Yara: "I never demand but I'm up for anything really." And that's how you flirt, boys and girls.
Theon, thinking: EVERY DAMN TIME. She keeps getting the girls that I like.
Dany secretly considers a lifestyle change as she agrees to Yara's terms. She says that everyone in the room had terrible fathers who made the world worse (Happy Father's Day!), but together, they would instead make the world better. Dany stipulates that they must support her claim as Queen to the Seven Kingdoms. She adds that they must also stop raiding, raping, reaving, rhyming and refrigerating... or some other verbs beginning with R. Yara objects, saying that these R-verbs are the Ironborn's way of life, but Dany says no, just to establish who's boss. Yara reluctantly agrees. Dany gets Tyrion's nod of approval, the two ladies have a weird, awkward hand-elbow-shake and the Dragon-Kraken alliance is made.
I loved everything about the scenes at Meereen this week. While Missandei somewhat took the backseat in this episode, every other one of Dany's allies made significant contributions to Dany's triumph. The potential argument between Tyrion and Dany was aptly avoided. The creators adroitly managed their time, showed us the important scenes and established Dany's victory very quickly, but without it feeling rushed. The second segment showed the surprising meeting and alliance of two important houses, and I love how well they got along. Again, time was used well and a huge development happened in a matter of minutes, with no compromise on the quality of dialogue. Fabulous scenes, overall. And I think Danaerys is finally ready to head to Westeros.
The North:
The dominant story this week was of course the Battle of the Bastards, set in the North - in and around Winterfell. The two sides meet each other at the battle field, the evening before the war. Remember that Ramsay has his own large Bolton army, plus some Northern houses. Jon has the Wildlings plus a smaller Northern force. Ramsay greets Sansa and Jon, not like they are going to be at war the next day, but more like a jolly taxi driver greeting passengers with a signboard at the airport.
Ramsay sweetly offers Jon his platinum suck-my-dick package which involves kneeling before him, surrendering his army, and proclaiming him Warden of the North, in exchange for the lives and pardons of his party. Ramsay urges him to take this once-in-a-lifetime offer because Jon is sure to lose the war for lack of men. Jon, in turn, offers Ramsay the chance to finish the battle one-on-one.
Ramsay: "No thanks, you're better than me. However, my army is better than yours."
Jon: "Wow, what a sharp strategist you are."
Ramsay: "I have more men than you so I'll win."
Jon: "Will your men want to fight for you, when they hear you wouldn't fight for them?"
Ramsay: *pointing at Jon* "He's good. Very good." Possibly the nicest thing we've seen Ramsay say.
Ramsay doesn't know what to say beyond that so he uses his trump card and threatens Rickon's life. Sansa asks for proof that he has Rickon. Ramsay's man Umber silently tosses a direwolf's head on the ground.
Sansa: "Hmm, that doesn't look like Rickon..."
Jon: "Dude, shut up you're making us look stupid."
Sansa figures it out and then makes it clear to Ramsay that they intend to fight and win the war the next day, and rides off. Ramsay trash talks Jon and his lords, saying he'll feed them to his 7-days-hungry hounds before he rides off as well.
Later, Jon, Davos and Tormund make battle plans. It's established that Ramsay it too proud to stay within Winterfell, which is good for them. They discuss digging trenches to avoid a "double envelopment" and Tormund looks at them vacantly as he has no clue what they're talking about. So cute. The war council ultimately decides on playing a patient game and allowing Ramsay to attack them.
Sansa, who had been giving Jon death-glares during that entire discussion, is upset that she was not consulted in the making of battle plans, since she does have a PhD in Ramsay.
Sansa: "Ramsay won't fall for your trap, he lays traps. Rickon will die no matter what. And we can't win because we have too few men."
Jon: "Loving the confidence, sis. Okay, what should I do?"
Sansa: "Don't do what he wants you to do."
Jon: "Wow! What an idea, sirji!"
After some intense exchanges, they both calm down and Sansa says that if Ramsay wins, she does not want to go back to him alive. Jon promises that Ramsay will never touch her again. Sansa, ever the ray of sunshine, says, "No one can protect me. No one can protect anyone," and walks off. This is one of the subtle dialogues to get us wondering whether Jon might lose after all. We get a shot of an exasperated, crestfallen Jon taking another look at the battle plans, and lowering his head. Poor guy.
Davos and Tormund walk outside in the snow. They bond over the fact that they both gullibly loved and followed kings that eventually turned out to be major flops. They remind themselves that Jon is no king, and that he might actually lead them to victory. Tormund then offers Davos a drink but Davos says he would rather take a pre-war walk, though he's actually just nauseous from Tormund's offer of "sour goat's milk."
Jon goes to meet Melisandre, coz he wants some eye candy.
Jon: "Any advice?"
Melisandre: "Don't lose."
Jon: *spits contemptuously* "Even Sansa's advice was better than that shit."
They talk about the Lord of Light, coz Melisandre hasn't spewed sanctimonious superstitious slogans in a while now. Jon asks not to be resurrected by her if he dies, but Melisandre says that she will, because she'll take any excuse to feel up his body. She says that it's not in her hands because only the Lord of Light decides who gets to come back. She also says that Jon might have been brought back purely to die again at this moment. Jon looks at her like, "Wow, you're way more of a wet blanket than Sansa is," and leaves completely dejected.
Davos goes on his walk, and somehow he happens upon the exact spot where Melisandre burnt Shireen last season. He goes up to the firewood, and on the ground he finds the wooden Baratheon deer that he had once given his reading tutor. In a very GoT-esque fashion, he momentarily acquires some incredible deductive skills and infers that Shireen was burnt here, possibly by Melisandre. We can expect that the face off between Davos and Melisandre that's been coming all season, will come in the next episode. As he sulks holding the toy, the war horn sounds.
The next segment is the war. Time to squirt ketchup on actors. The two armies are assembled at the battlefield, with Jon's side looking aghast at a few scattered flayed men that have been set alight on the battle field. It's all mind games. One also wonders where Jon's corresponding sygil, his direwolf Ghost, is. But then again, we got three dragons, burning ships, a giant and two wars. Gotta give the CGI team a break, I suppose.
Ramsay pulls some prisoner by a rope to the front of his lines, but we can't see him behind all the horses. The camera shifts and surprise, surprise: It's Rickon Stark. Ramsay raises his knife as if to kill Rickon, and Jon, enraged, gets off his horse for no reason. Ramsay, however, plays more mind games and cuts Rickon loose. He treats Rickon like a one-year-old who's learning to walk and tells him to go to Jon. Rickon, accordingly, plays the "game" with the intelligence of a one-year-old and runs to Jon in a straight line. Who runs away in a straight line? Bran is the crow, not him!
As Rickon runs, Ramsay draws an arrow and aims, but misses. Jon simultaneously gets back on his horse and runs to save Rickon. Ramsay misses two more arrows and it looks like Jon is going to save his brother. But at the last moment, when Jon and Rickon are about to reach each other, Ramsay sprinkles some Bollywood masala on his fourth arrow and shoots it accurately at Rickon. Rickon takes an arrow to the chest and falls to the ground, with Jon fuming.
As obvious as Sansa's "don't do what he wants you to do" advice was, Jon falls for the trap and does what Ramsay wants. Direwolf turns to bull and Jon charges toward Ramsay with blind fury. Everyone goes batshit crazy at this and everyone charges as well. Ramsay's archers take aim at Jon and some 60 arrows all miss him by miles because Jon is too important to be killed by a random archer.
Jon's army also charges toward the other side violently, while more arrows rain upon them. Ramsay, the brave Bolton warrior, skillfully does nothing. He watches as his archers keep loosing arrows at Jon's side. One of the arrows hits Jon's horse, because it's too early for Jon to get hit, but they have to give some respect to logic.
Then, Ramsay shows how important he is to this battle by saying, "Now" (what would they do without him?) and his cavalry begin to charge. Jon stands up beside his dead horse at an angle of 75 degrees, because it looks sexy. Inspirational / highly depressing music plays in the background as Jon slowly draws his sword, drops his sword-belt, and prepares to swing. Hundreds of Ramsay's horses charge toward Jon Snow and he almost dies, but not really, coz it'll also be damn stupid if he's killed by a horse.
Stark horses and Bolton horses collide all around Jon, and Jon is saved from the impact, of course. Jon looks around awkwardly as people all around him are fighting, but no one comes to hit him. Bored, he eats a quick panini and plays Angry Birds until, finally, one stupid guy charges toward him. Jon slices him like "piss into snow". We get some amazing shots of the war from numerous angles, with horses and men continuously colliding into each other like pigeons at glass windows. We see a lot of swords, arrows and maimed soliders, as the camera follows Jon as he rips apart everyone in his path.
Ramsay decides to earn some participation points by taking a more active role in the battle. He now starts to shout "Nock!" and "Loose!" in alternation. What a highly involved commander, who leads by example! Arrows rain, men and horses fall, and the bodies all begin to pile up. Jon thrashes wildly and kills copious men without any issues. Then, at one point, Jon is on the ground and is almost overcome by a solider, but the solider is smashed by Tormund, who then helps Jon up. He gives Jon a totally Tormund-ish pep talk. He yells, "Hey!" and walks off.
Davos' unit, which has been laying eggs so far, joins the battle too. Ramsay notes this and performs his greatest role in the battle. He turns to some high-ranking officer and says, "It's time. Go." He watches and does nothing as the rest of his army begins to march around the Stark army and surrounds them in some sort of circular formation. #teamwork
Jon, Tormund, Davos, Wun Wun and the rest of the Stark side watch in confusion as they are surrounded by the Boltons on one side and the pile up of dead bodies on the other. Someone shouts, "Infantry Advance!" and the arc of Bolton men begins to close in on the Starks like some white blood cell phagocytosis (10th standard biology, guys). They poke at the Stark side, and many are killed. The good guys then begin to retaliate and they run up and try to attack the wall of shields. Tormund gets some kills and Wun Wun dances around and rips bodies apart. Everything devolves into chaos as more people are grabbed, stabbed and jabbed.
As the wall continues to close in on the Stark side, I can't get over the amazing enactment of this scene. I actually began to feel claustrophobic as I watched all of the Starks squashed together, cheek by jowl, with nowhere to go. At one point, Tormund gives up on the offensive front, and tells his Wildlings to retreat via the pile of bodies. The Wildlings wisely run away from a clearly lost situation, and in the process Jon gets knocked over, and is trampled under the stampede.
The scene is incredibly engrossing. Once again, the direction is to be commended. As Jon begins to choke and suffocate under the running bodies, I do too. Viewers hold their breath in sympathy and anticipation as they watch Jon suffer inadvertently at the hands, or rather at the feet, of his own men. Elsewhere, Tormund is also losing a fight with Lord Umber. Everything seems to be going in favour of the Boltons, but it so happens that the Starks have their own pantry full of Bollywood masala. In this desperate moment, they use up seven truckloads of this magic powder, and the tide turns like nothing else.
Jon Snow the Sailor Man eats his spinach and finds the strength to pull himself above the stagnating crowd, and heaves deep breaths. Tormund goes apeshit and chews into Umber's throat like some pulpy banana. And just outside the formation, the Arryns have arrived with a large army, ready to fight for Sansa and Jon. They're led by some hyper-enthusiastic nobody. Petyr Baelish and Sansa watch from the side, as the Starks get the help they so desperately need. Littlefinger is doing his best impersonation of Ramsay - standing far away from the battle and smiling stupidly, like, "I'm so swaaaag, right?"
By the way, I still don't get why Sansa didn't tell Jon that they had this backup force. And while I mostly have faith that the show won't let this detail slide, some small part of me expects that we won't be given a good reason at all. Hope they deliver on this in the finale.
The Arryn men demolish the Boltons, to Ramsay's... I wouldn't say distress, more like mild annoyance. Ramsay who has been eating popcorn this entire time, and is spotlessly clean, realizes he's losing this war. Jon watches Ramsay run to his castle at Winterfell, and he chases him with Tormund and Wun Wun. Ramsay thinks he's safe inside Winterfell, but Wun Wun says, "peekaboo!" and breaks down the door. Wun Wun has been a major target of the archers (though at that size, getting hit isn't their accuracy, it's sheer probability) and collapses to his knees as soon as he opens the gate. He hollers in pain as he is used as a giant pincushion. Stark archers charge through the gates and shoot down the scant Bolton archers inside the castle. As the Bolton forces are quickly overrun, Jon attempts to help Wun Wun, but Wun Wun is shot in the eye by Ramsay's arrow, and falls to the ground, dead. R.I.P. to the last living giant.
At this point, Stark arrows are all aimed at Ramsay, and Jon, covered in blood, mud and sweat, is the epitome of exhaustion.
Ramsay: "After some deep contemplation, I'd like to take you up on that offer of one-on-one combat you made yesterday."
Jon: "Oh wow, how nice of you to reconsider after all your men were killed."
Tired though he is, Jon, ever the honorable warrior, seems to have no problem granting Ramsay's wish. He grabs a shield before Ramsay can shoot, and blocks Arrow Number 1 with the shield, and then proceeds toward Ramsay. Ramsay tries again, but Arrow number 2 probably redirected itself toward the shield out of fear of touching Jon. Out of peer pressure, Arrow Number 3 sticks to the shield as well. Jon's whole aura emanates wrath and unbridled ferocity. His men watch surprised at their commander's arrow-blocking skills. Before Ramsay releases his fourth arrow, Jon has reached him and is pounding him on the ground.
For all viewers, Ramsay has undoubtedly been a nonpareil class of villain. Therefore, as I watched Jon pummel Ramsay left and right, and deliver with inhuman fury a grand total of 22 uninterrupted punches, I laughed with hysteria. I could even hear an opera singing 'Ode to Joy' in the background. But now, picture this. Jon has been on battle mode for the past few hours, with his mind completely set on killing this beast that has stolen his home, tortured his sister and killed his brother. Therefore, to have had the presence of mind to look at Sansa, realize that Ramsay is hers to finish, and actually leave him alive was, for me, an act of supreme heroism. What a man.
Things have settled down and we have another lovely shot of a Bolton banner along the castle walls being replaced with the white Stark one. Jon declares that Rickon's body is to be buried at the crypt, beside his father's. A nice, simple resolution to his death. Sansa then sternly asks Jon where Ramsay is, coz it's time for this episode to give Ramsay that sweet retribution that he so truly deserves.
In the final scene of this episode, Sansa gets a kickass role. Sansa visits Ramsay in his new studio apartment underneath Winterfell. The apartment has just one chair and that's it, and Ramsay seems very attached to the chair... literally. We take great pleasure in seeing Ramsay's bloody face and tied hands, and I got even more joy thinking how he can't even dig his nose if he wants to. He's just gotta wait and let that nose-itch manifest itself. Ramsay asks Sansa if this will be his new home, and he takes her silence to mean that he is about to die. Jolly good inference, my boy.
Ramsay: "You can't kill me. I'm part of you now." (Bring on the pregnancy theories.)
Sansa: "Your words will disappear. Your house will disappear. You name will disappear. All memory of you will disappear."
Ramsay: "Well, fuck."
Sansa watches as Ramsay's dogs begin to growl, smelling his blood. Like Drogon, they also know a good dialogue at which to appear. They circle Ramsay and sniff him. Ramsay is cocky.
Ramsay: "My hounds will never harm me."
Sansa: "You haven't fed them in seven days, you said it yourself."
Ramsay: "They're loyal beasts."
Sansa: "They were. Now they're starving."
The rest of the scene is a highly satisfying coup de grâce, with Ramsay screaming as he is munched on by his own hounds, one of his own top methods of murder. Oh, the irony. As Sansa calmly turns around and leaves, unperturbed by the sight, we come to realize that she too has grown up into an adult. Indubitably, her best scene in the show. And in the last moments of the episode, we see the slightest hint of a smile on Sansa's face, as she walks away with poise.
Post Episode:
IMDb rated the episode a full 10/10, making it the best rated TV episode of all time. I concur with this judgment. The episode was perfect. Every scene was flawless (except perhaps Rickon's super-dramatic running scene) and the war was unparalleled. People in real wars will look at this episode and be like, "that war was more realistic."
Jon Snow has won his war, he is now (presumably) Lord of Winterfell, and with this castle, the Wildlings and the Arryns, he is in a great position of power. Dany has won her war, she is now the undisputed Queen of Meereen, and with her dragons and Dothraki army and ships, she is in a great position of power. We can only expect more great feats from both of these loved characters.
The season finale is coming up on 27th June, and I have high expectations for this episode. If one thinks of each GoT season as a story in itself, episode 9 always seems to be the climax, and episode 10 the denouement, where loose ends are tied up. However, there's so much left to be said and done, that I don't see how all of it can be accomplished in a single episode (even if it is 69 minutes long). Here are all the loose ends that need to be tied up in the season finale:
- The aftermath of the war needs to take place, e.g. burning dead bodies.
- Castle Black has really few men, and they need food. Jon Snow needs to go help them.
- Sansa needs to explain why she kept that Arryn thing a secret from Jon.
- Davos and Melisandre need to face off about Shireen.
- Baelish needs to explain why he helped Sansa and Jon (there has to be some deep reason).
- Brienne and Pod need to get back to Sansa, and report news of Riverrun.
- Walder Frey needs to find out the news at Riverrun (he should be happy, I think).
- Sam and fam need to get to the Citadel and Sam needs to start his training.
- Cersei needs to have her trial before seven septons.
- Ser Loras need to have his trial before seven septons.
- We need to find out what that big secret, that the High Septon told Tommen in Ep. 4, was.
- Jaime, having captured Riverrun, has to go back to Tommen and say, "Done."
- The Hound has to find his purpose in life, along with the Brotherhood without Banners.
- Margaery, who gave that secret rose picture to her grandmother, clearly has some hidden agenda. We need to find out what that is.
- We need to find out where Varys went for his secret mission, and what he's doing.
- We need to find out where Dorne comes into play in all of these things (could be that Varys is visiting them.)
- Euron Greyjoy needs to come meet Dany with his dick and ships offer.
- Jorah needs to find his cure.
- Dany needs to go to Westeros, and get the Greyjoys their land back.
- Arya needs to go to Westeros.
- Bran needs to learn everything, and learn to control his powers.
- Benjen Stark needs to explain his survival story a little better.
- We need to find out what happened to Ned Stark in the past, after he climbed up the Tower of Joy.
- We need a better understanding of Aerys screaming "burn them all!", which appeared multiple times in Bran's visions in Episode 6.
- Winter is coming and everyone needs to start preparing for that.
Nevertheless, I can't wait for the finale. It's been an incredibly satisfying season so far, and we're lucky to be part of this journey.
Note: Hope you liked this one. It was much harder to write this, since I was describing 2 wars, rather than dialogues and events. Feedback always welcome. :)
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