White Conspiracy

The skies have clouds, and the clouds have snow.

When snowflakes fall, they leisurely do so.
But one coalition of snowflakes in the sky
Had a cruel agenda to vex people by.

This menagerie of marksmen, this society of snipers,
They aimed at the innocent, these sadistic white vipers.
At one meeting, I was chosen, the latest target
Of this silvery six-sided sinister syndicate.

So, these icy gangsters embarked all together,
Sauntering to earth, just disguised as bad weather.
Professional skydivers, they deftly turned their helm,
Until they were headed straight for a tall elm.

They bided their time, ‘twas all part of their scheme.
They found some more flakes, new recruits for their team.
So there they softly lingered, till one afternoon,
Their victim passed by them at a moment, opportune.

Now, I had dressed up, all prepared for the Arctic.
It was snowing like the clouds had been given a cathartic.
A frigophobe from birth, I sure couldn’t let in
Even a trace of algidity near my toasty skin.

Thick pants and boots and my legs were concealed.
A beanie and scarf, for my whole head to be veiled.
I left my gloves home; they were torn at the hem.
But my hands in my pockets would surely sheath them.

So I left sanguine ‘bout the warmth of my garments.
I basked in the heat despite the winter’s torments.
But when I walked that path so obliviously,
I was assaulted just under that elm tree.

My weakness those fluffy white scoundrels had found.
Into my pocket they tumbled with all but a sound.
Before I knew it, my snug hands were freezing,
And it only got worse when the goons started teasing.

Right inside my pocket, they decided to melt.

Cold hands I’d endured, but wet I’d never dealt.
So, I pulled out my hands, they were no longer cloaked,
Lest the insides of my coat become soaked.

And then there was the cold. Oh, that subzero agony!

As a mild palliative, I brushed a mahogany.
And I stood there in anguish, in that cold wintry park,
With my hands at the mercy of a gelid white shark.

At some point I resumed, when the pain was assuaged,
My hands had just died, I insightfully gauged.
And as I walked on alone, a little while after,
I was certain I heard some soft, evil laughter.